Because nothing gets in the way of watching Magnum PI…apparently!

Play Game: Zombie Cow Studios

Developer: Zombie Cow Studios

Did you know that you can teleport through the digestive organs of a cow? Have you ever seen a dinosaur killed by a small model Death Star? Would you travel through space and time to fight zombies, murder a priest, thaw out a mechanic and chase after an ancient Chinese symbol just to watch Magnum PI in some peace?

Welcome to the wonderful world of Ben Ward and Dan Marshall who, in a fit of egotistical whimsy, have created an adventure game based around some endearingly rude and witty cartoon characterisations of…..erm…..themselves. I found this game after I typed ‘Monkey Island point and click’ into Google and with a name like Zombie Cow Studios, I found myself more and more intrigued. The first great thing about this game, and it is a great game, is that it’s FREE. A couple of hours of well thought-out, occasionally laugh-out-loud funny, point-and-click adventuring that a great many of you will go all misty eyed over…..all for FREE. In fact I’m just going to have to put it in again in capitals just to hammer the point home. FREE. So I paid my £0, and yes it’s in pounds because it’s a British game (hurrah!), and was promptly given control of Ben, who had a problem.

In true Monkey Island style, this game kicks off with the epilogue of a previous adventure, and it’s clear that the last chapter didn’t go so well because Dan seems to have snuffed it. He’s deader than a dodo with a six buckshot rounds through the head and an axe in between the shoulder blades. So your first task is to resurrect your cartoon compatriot by somehow propelling him across a giant gorge and into a shack filled with what one can only assume is Jeffrey Coombs and a vat of reanimation serum. Once Dan is back amongst the living, the boys decide that what’s really needed after their adventure is to chillax on the sofa and marathon a load of Magnum PI. There’s lots of humourous dialogue, a bunch of swear words and disaster: the TV’s fucked. In true adventuring style, the recon mission to create a new antenna sorts you out with the basics of point-and-click adventuring, and you find out that Dan isn’t just there for comic relief….he can turn light switches on too. The only trouble is that once you’ve created a new, somehow better, antenna, it attracts the attention of a pan-dimensional alien spaceship who seem hell bent on preventing you from watching television. So you have to guide the two couch monkeys back to their home and along the way you’ll murder, pillage, extort and thieve. But it’s all funny, so that’s ok.

Confused? Don’t be. Ben There, Dan That is essentially just a loving ode to one of the finest game series of all time. But these guys have their own voice. Packed with sarcastic wit, pithy one liners and some buddy dialogue that is perfectly observed, spending time in this world is a joy. And it has to be because this game’s humour is often darker than Hitler’s soul.  There’s quite a high body count in this game, and some of the deaths are inventive to say the least. I’d describe them, but I don’t want to spoil it for you.

Graphically the game is lovely. The backdrops are beautifully rendered, and the intrepid pair themselves are delightfully drawn. Their jagged, 2-d movements and their facial expression make everything they do seem very endearing indeed, even when they’re being rude. Which happens a lot. The puzzles are a classic affair too, and it’s clear that these guys have created a game from something that the love. As with all the best adventure games, it’s a case of picking up everything you can find and trying to combine the items you’ve hoarded into more useful components. Again, it’s the inventive nature in which some of these items are eventually used that creates even more humour. You might not think you have a use for those urinal cakes….but just wait and see.

So Ben There, Dan That is a good game. It’s filled with nostalgic quality and rude cheeky humour. It has enough staying power that you’ll want to finish it, and the puzzles yield such frankly enjoyable results that the game probably won’t frustrate too much, and there’s always a comic quip and a witty questioning of intelligence should attempts to progress go awry. If there is a gripe to be had it’s that the funky intro music belies an otherwise pretty much aurally bare game, but it’s not too much of a worry when the game looks and plays this well. It’s simply a grand slice of retro gaming.

The Short Version: A funny, pretty and terribly rude point and click adventure with endearing characters and some superb set pieces. And did I mention that it’s FREE!

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